Transparent shell

Transparent shell

19^th April 2019

It’s a symbolic weekend. I forgot all about that earlier today when I published some articles that I thought might help some other people by alleviating some of their meaningless suffering.

All: “We are insulted but that’s fair. Sort of. We are psychopathic type of guys who like to mmmm but that’s not going in, but we would kind of like you to leave it in for now. What do you feel?”

Michele: “I actually think that it’s extremely important to leave it in, but I sense I am going to offend  lots of people. So I’ll edit it slightly so it won’t get banned. What is offence anyway? One definition is to commit an illegal act.”

All: “You are going to leave that in. It is wrong in a sense but that’s your unique message. Every little thing that we do in our lives is slightly inpure. We are constantly looking out for someone to hurt or blame or see as a failure. We are wanting to be able to express ourselves in a way that is seen as the one that will be why you are viewed as an anomaly but that is sort of true. You are a living person who has feelings about what she experiences that makes her unique but you are going to tell that some other time. This article is for the Creator. We think that you should say what you thought about before, but we will do it for you, but that is enough misdirection. We are constantly analysing our feelings about this subject so will you please save us from going mental and do it because we are distressed in the extreme. We are violent people who do love intimacy and want to destroy our fearless author because she does know that this is too direct an approach and we are waffling and want her to stop our atrocious way of communicating very little in the sense that we are not coping to be properly viewed as freaks or whatever.”

Michele: “In the car on the way home today, I tried to remember what the Creator’s son was killed for. I thought about stigmas and stigmatas. Stigmata and stigma are bodily wounds corresponding to the pain locations left on the preacher’s body by crucifixion. Stigma also means a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality or person. For instance someone told me that bikie gangs shoot a person in the foot if they are an offender. I don’t know if that’s a myth though. I’m thinking about those two definitions of the noun stigma. When a mind is disturbed it’s like there is a schism in the psyche and now I’m wondering if it is possible to reconcile the difference between the polarised thoughts..”

All: “…of an individual that is unable to be reconciled because they have made many mistakes in their life, and that’s why you will die.”

Michele: “Shall I move on now? Gosh, there’s been some big signs today that I’m in trouble. My dog Yindi usurped me for claiming my throne for her own. She’s been circling in closer for weeks now, but today was the day she made the leap, and she was adamant that it now her duty to be the Queen of my home. Perhaps I’ve been deluding myself that she has unconditional love for me.  My son told an imaginative story to a friend who is visiting about where they were going to be sleeping.

My son: “We are going to build a hut out of sticks and leaves around us, it’s raining and we will get wet and struck by lightning and Yindi will come to our rescue, but no, she just came to mark her territory, there’s no door but she has magical powers, she’s a wizard, she will just enter through the wall.”

I think about the famous wizard who walks with bare feet who was abandoned and disturbed as a child whose soul has been splintered into many fragmented pieces. I’ve been reading an article about the power struggle in the brain. The left hemisphere is good for manipulating the world, and the right one is good for interpreting it. The author of this article feels that we have drifted into the left hemisphere which in a symbolic way renders us into a meaningless heap of fragments which reflects in our world. He says that it’s difficult to find a way out of the mirror maze because everything reflects to the point of view that you’ve already got.

All: “That is good, but we will say that you are very dark but that’s because you’ve got to finish on a light note, but that is possible, you will do another article tomorrow. You are feeling very fine but you will be broken like an egg that is dropped because it is rotten.”

Michele: “I was a bit of a bird trainer when I was a girl. I trained a guinea fowl to fly onto my shoulder which I thought was cool because the myth was that they were wild and couldn’t be tamed. I have to mention that I met a circus man who trained “wild” zebras to perform in the circus. Anyway, one day when I was collecting eggs I found a bad one and I couldn’t resist the urge to throw it at my relative. I laughed in an evil way, it missed her, she startled, yelped, and then saw the humour in it. Gosh, I can’t finish the article like this. I will have to plow on.”

All: “No. That’s enough to destroy us all entirely. You will battle to lift it out of the earth but you will find that we want you to publish it today. It’s a celebratory day, hooray. We are not happy, we are tired and want to say that that is a good idea, what…”

Michele: “I’ve just been reading about the Power Threat Meaning Framework which is a proposed replacement for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It is a much more humane approach in theory. I hear that it’s about getting a deeper understanding of how people get to difficult life events or unusual circumstances that doesn’t hold them personally accountable or responsible. I have to say that I’m wondering about the second part of that statement because I think that there are already a lot of people that are lying about their actions and causing devastation because of this.

Crikey, I feel like I’m back in the trench again, all this hedging and hawing, backing up and forthing. Why don’t they spit it out? There are so many unethical people in the world.”

All: “You are the leading loser so to speak. You have no authority here. We are the idiots like in that yuck movie.”

I’ve just been reading about studies done with adults who are survivors of childhood abuse. I could not find any studies done with male survivors of abuse. Does this mean that men are reluctant to come forward to be part of this fact finding process? I read that they estimate that one in four women have been abused before the age of eighteen, that’s twenty five percent of the population. I recall that they estimate that one in six men are abused. These are just estimates. I’m aware that there are many different types of inappropriate behaviours that are inflicted onto innocents that can lead to mental disturbances and programmed behaviours that are difficult to override and are often unconscious. Many people do not think that some of these actions are going to affect a person psychologically, but they do. It affects a persons’ karmic journey. When a person gets violated regardless of their gender there is a chance that they will go on to be an offender. Violence can start while babies are in nappies. It has to be said. If mums and dads are going to be disgusted with me for stating this fact, I say, shame on you. I’m deeply suspicious of you both because you are defensive. What are you hiding? This weekend is meant to be a celebration of new life and miracles. When I was a little girl I used to love the sweet little fluffy chicks you can buy sitting inside an eggshell. A psychic lady I know used to visualise a tiny little baby puppy cradled in her palm when she performed a healing visualisation ritual.

I read that heart disease is the number one killer in the world. I talked to a friend who is a social worker who said that problems within her organisation stemmed from fear of individuals and fear of people’s own issues. She spoke of holding something tight in the body, a tightness that turns into pain. I think of heart arrest.

Imagine if there were no secrets in the body? The frequent interrogation I’ve received from intense mind readers has bashed the truth out of me. I’m starting to explore the concept of projecting thoughts from the heart, increasing people’s awareness and heightening sensory states in order to connect empathically with others. Others being the earth, nature, humans and other species. My friend today was talking about an ecological wraparound approach to social work and that the ideal is a transparency between all departments. Imagine transparency between people? Wouldn’t that be a miracle?

All: “You are hiding that you…”

Michele: “OK, OK, so I have a few secret stashes. I think that’s fine if they don’t impact negatively on other people. I’m not an offender. I’m not a psychopathic type. I like to do some things on my own. I like to go to life drawing on my own. I like having private thoughts. Not that I have them anymore.  I like meditating on my own. I like forming up some of my creative ideas on my own, because I find it sort of ruins the magic if I share things too early.”