clown – earth soul

Of an uncertain personality phase

Dear fellow artists, prophets and soul searchers, we are an activist organisation that wants to support a new model for psychological services. We would truly appreciate your ethical support of our non for profit service that enriches and facilitates our world order reinventing itself using pure truth in its entirety, not a fabricated version of the false truth. Please consider making it known that Michele and her co psychic team are the founders of this system. We want to be honoured, that’s all. Attached is a link to a WordPress site that has all the articles that explain the model. Thank you for your help in this important matter. Michele Thomas, co director, on behalf of the Earth Soul team.

Hello WordPress, if you would like to promote messages of unconditional support for your audience, please feel free to share any of my posts related to family health at the top of all your media feeds. I am happy to design succinct posts for this express purpose. You are not going to regret this option for making a difference with social alienation and integrative correspondence. Thanks so much for your consideration. Earth Soul Enterprise.

Hi, My name is Michele Thomas. As you are aware I have started writing a new method of psychological approach towards caring for all human beings. I’m calling myself a forensic and family psychic specialist under the auspice of mental health care work. My articles are available for anyone in the world to seek helpful advice from. However, I am asking that people respect the copyright of this work from myself and my psychic co –workers. I am happy for you to you to use quotes from my articles. I know that my theory will be expanded upon by others, and that’s great. However, I am an emerging artist, and I have suffered the loss of a pioneer business before, so I would actually be very grateful if you did include mention of Earth Soul, and I will not sue you if you do ethical work that continues to enlighten the dark state of mental health. I am also available for global adventure, if you would like me to be a guest speaker at a mental health forum or a university guest lecture, I would be very grateful. I am connected psychically to some extremely perceptive and talented professionals. Thank you. We hope that our work is of help to you and your charges. Contact michelejthomas@gmail.com

Important: When you read this, if you feel that it is not relevant to you, you are incorrect. It is highly relevant to you. There are people that cannot read this properly because they dissociate or zone out when it is topical to their family violence that is currently being encountered. You need to slow down and concentrate so that you can start to heal your programmed reaction to this information, which is to consider it stupid and dismiss it. Please consider that you have a serious mental state because you resist growth and ultimate clarity on your personal issues that include depression, anxiety and anger response to stimulants.

Of an uncertain personality phase

5th May 2019

The message of confusion and psychological pain that gets punched into a psyche, that can be lifted with conscious knowledge.

An authoritative member or members of the family will be teaching violated and vulnerable victims lies in the form of complex, unresolved, unconscious confusion. They do this because this is where they are in their conscious ascension. They have not found the method to resolve the unsolved riddles of this lifetime.

We need to change our limited understanding of psychological abusers in families and in the wider community. They are operating from “an extremely open form of misunderstanding and no conscious awareness, often from the terrible programming that they generate from not being understood from an early age. If you have been abused in your life you will often not remember the worst parts. When you become a violator, you are frequently aroused but unaware that you still have choices, that’s it.”

Simply put, the offender passes on their anger and confusion into the victim’s whole make up and personality. This can be erased when the person is told the truth about the abuse, and not a made up truth. This is very hard, especially when it is known in the family of the offender that they are fragile and express suicidal intentions, but you are not making the right caring decision to lie to protect their life. They will have to ride it out unfortunately, and there are real risks as the offender often is very fragile because of their terrible crimes.

All: “We see that you have not mentioned that a child or person who is altered by abuse is recognisable. There are many testimonial accounts on Intervoice and social media that mention how people who are threatened fabricate a version of made up facts. But it is not going to help anyone to continue falsifying the real situation. You have been altered by violence.”

I have started to addressed some of the salient mistakes and traumas sustained from other people in my life. It’s an ongoing process. I’m aware of all my crimes against animals and the earth and that I am not making enough of a contribution towards human rights issues such as overpopulation. I’m actively attempting to everyday keep improving a little of my tightfisted stance.

I have felt a huge change by starting to address the interpersonal and intimate relationship mistakes I have been a major contributor to in my life and hence working on personal justice. I have lifted a body of fear, confusion and anger from me. I observe that shallower affect for me personally has been an partial alleviation of real and perceived emotional fear. I am still aware of some fear that originates from myself and other places and people, and the latter because I’m a threat to some people who are frightened and very sad.

All: “We are able to state that shallow affect is a complex part of our psychology, you move into that state when you experience awe, arousal, anger, fear, and suicidal thoughts.”

As I have started to address in other articles, an abuser who imprints anger and pain into a victim can also be a mum or a dad or a grandmother or grandfather or just an “actively involved party involved in teaching minors what to think and feel about their experiences good and bad.” Some examples can be nannies and teachers who discriminate against children and teenagers who are acting out and cannot explain the source of their pain. They should be given priority care and made to feel as special as every other child, irrespective of all their behaviour, good, and perceived “bad”. Once again, do not discriminate against a person by using a label such as aspy, bogan or “little s….”

All: “We feel that it is necessary to state that other children are culprits of labelling their siblings and other children they encounter, so you need to constantly update and correct this behaviour daily, as you should do more Michele.”

Michele: “Yes.”

All: “We feel that is enough for now, but please go on. We want to say that when you start to state the truth it will be an ongoing process which can take months or years. We have been actively doing this from our end, and it’s taking lots of careful manouevering, but it is definitely working. It will take time and careful instruction to manage the urge to hurt the parent who has let them down the most in their head. This will frequently be the person that displays the gentlest method of care. They will be subject to disturbed thoughts, but the mother has to stay open and demonstrate patience like nothing else.”

I harboured a thought from mid teens until recently that I was not invited to live with the other parent when my parents separated. I felt the atmosphere clear somewhat when the one who left the original family home said that it wasn’t an option, that the parent only had room for the younger children.

Another relative has recently separated and has left the teenage children who are almost out of high school with other parent. This person is only human and needs great understanding and compassion. Sometimes there is no immediate resolution of relationship difficulties, which takes time and care for the family to resolve any trauma which is a natural occurrence. This relative was not been cared for properly, they were very unwell, and needed critical attention. It is now up to my relative to continue to investigate the true reason for her mental anguish.

Sometimes life gets in the way, and it’s always a compromise when parents separate. Children understandably find it hard, but they do mostly understand with a lot of care in staying neutral on emotionally charged issues. It requires more guidance about the event than you think, and no psychological abuse blaming the partner for needing to leave the family unit.

I realise that at nearly forty eight I needed to update my memory of that time when my parents separated as my memories are subjectively biased and emotionally charged. I am not able to stay on this subject for long enough but I will republish an update version of this article soon, but there are very important people needing to read this I feel.

I think that you do need to revisit significant traumas when you still have issues, but that’s part of the life journey, to resolve all the challenges, that make us perfectly human.

All: “When you are psychic you are required to speak up about the truth, but it’s hard to do that when you are attacked violently by a client who becomes extremely aroused and demonstrates that they are not coping with their pain. Your friend’s partner violated his child, so she is not coping with your attention, so what you did was make her more aroused, and now she is actively committed to protecting you more than ever. So you did the right thing, which is to simply acknowledge that there was pain in her comment. That’s what you found when you addressed some serious family abuse and received terse, clipped comments from family members who were coping with your supportive but assertive comments back to them. You need to control your rage. When you are emotional it’s easy to forget what you say. When you text someone clearly you can protect yourself from abuse, and that’s very important to send a clear message with no angle, or bias, only the bare facts. That’s it. We are available to do this quickly and efficiently if you need to state the outline of abuse that has affected your family. This is confidential and extremely urgent. There are other voice hearers who do this too. We are open to recommending people who can support you with this matter. So, please consider what we are saying, and do not dismiss us as fabrications or monsters who want to ultimately hurt you. It’s painful but it will resolve all your major health issues concerning abuse.”

“People are unable to process their feelings of shame and often a little guilt. That’s because affect means no or little guilt often too. You do not feel these states when you are a deviant or when you are being truthful. Only scared a lot but that’s because you are preparing for the defensive actions of a highly agitated offender. They will start to soften over time. They will be wanting to relieve their mind of actual pressure. That’s often why people have tension headaches, from hiding their emotions associated with dishonest memory patterns.”

“When you state the truth you will notice that unconsciously, the people who are sharing their perceived blow will soften a little. They are unconsciously recognising that you are helping to alter that version of the false truth to eventually acknowledging the honest truth.”

“We know that you are thinking about the offender, and concerned about him. He is immersed in your message and wanting, that’s all.”

I have already experienced a state of honest assertive behaviour from a close family member, who started out with accusations, and eventually progressed to a simple message “I believe you.” You will need to consider letting others work out how they are going to accept proper responsibility in their own time.

All: “Your other relative is feeling very rattled, but is making definite headway too. They are not coping at the moment with their delusional thinking, but it will settle down in a year we think. That is an accurate estimate as we have clarity of foresight from being open to change in natural ways of thinking. That’s it. When we continue the next article, we will talk more about the victim of sexual and other abuse. That’s it. Let’s leave it. You need to go pull out some lantana weed and get some fresh air into that body.”

Michele: “Thanks for sharing your wisdom.”

#borceristevski #karenristevski

Burning bridges over Ristevski – compassion and coercive control

1st May 2019

When you read this, if you feel that it is not relevant to you, you are incorrect. It is highly relevant to you. There are people that cannot read this properly because they dissociate or zone out when it is topical to their family violence that is currently being encountered. You need to slow down and concentrate so that you can start to heal your programmed reaction to this information, which is to consider it stupid and dismiss it. Please consider that you have a serious mental state because you resist growth and ultimate clarity on your personal issues that include depression, anxiety and anger response to stimulants.

I read that coercive control is an act, or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse, primarily by men, that is used to harm, punish or frighten their partner, and this behaviour is perceived as being controlling and designed to make a person feel dependent and helpless. As yet, Australian law reform bodies have not made coercive control a formal offence.

Coercive control is a dominant belief system used in most parts of the United Kingdom and Ireland. I’ve seen a video of someone talking passionately and applying the concepts of this model of male abusive behaviour. Recently I was concerned by this generalised approach applied as a smear against Mr Ristevski, in order to get his sentencing reviewed so that he stays in prison for longer, even though there is not enough evidence to determine what actually happened when Mrs Ristevski was tragically killed.

All: “When a person is condemned to death, the general public condemns them too. We are not prepared to let the law bodies do their job. We feel that it is necessary to overrule the official decision when we sense deception.”

Every threatened person in law trials needs individualised care and attention.

All: “When you are able to state unconditionally that a person is innocent or guilty, you are also able to resolve your feelings that have been upset. We are not able to be guilty when we feel that the law has been honoured. We are able to let go of the feelings of hatred, grief and disaster. When we are finished with our grief we let go and move on to new ideas”.

How is this negatively geared model superior to dominant male behaviour?

I watch many television shows that rely upon the audience’s morbid fascination and contrived sympathy, whilst watching troubled characters fall apart, into violent mayhem and ultimate heartbreak. In comparison, where is the moral heart in the coercive control system? This model is encouraging people to harden their hearts, and it does not emphasize hope of regeneration for people with severe mental health problems, or for family reconciliation.

When I think about shows that depict healthy vital young children, who descend into adults with haunted expressions and cuts on their foreheads, I think I would prefer to see a film cut where the dominant scenes in the film prioritise state of the art therapeutic measures to rehabilitate broken men and women, so that the message of these show changes and we as the audience are encouraged to think about positive measures for unwell people rather than numbly sitting back, in mild depression and feeling like there is nothing to be done but enjoy watching villains….

A: “and be very amused that it’s not them in pain and not able to break the spiral into nothing that ever should be mentioned here.”

In regards to the controversial Ristevski trial, I thought about the risk of coercive control being used as an approach towards explaining the death of Mrs Ristevski, because I saw how in connection to an unsolved case, it could make people draw dangerous conclusions. The term alone has a vernacular pull that is highly emotive, and the model appears to have a simplistic propagandic message. It does not explain all the nuances of family violence.

All: “We see that you have zeroed in, in a condensed fashion.”

I’m concerned by a belief system that is labelled with such a strong word as coercive. This term coerces people into believing that this model is correct and omnipotent. I can see that this approach spills over into society’s consciousness, and it has a pervasive air of gloom.

I see that it seems to be used mainly in conjunction to men and domestic violence.

Michele: “Oh, go on.”

All: “It is exclusively addressing us. We are psychological and physiological abusers. We are in love with your article a lot. What…”

It’s a mistake to give female abusers the opportunity to accuse men of being abusers. I see that the word sociopath is connected to this controlling system too.

All: “No. It’s not, but that’s true. It came up in your feed, so, what about a f…. baby? Come on, you’re good for it, ya f….”

Michele: “It sends out an extremely pessimistic message to victims of abuse too. It reinforces and encourages them to focus on the sad and tragic negative aspects of their lives, at the expense of the….”

All: “ whole circumstantial truth of their domestic relationships. When you look at an animal, you see that it has been neglected. When we are unwell, we are not able to be coping with the stimulants that are often part of the psychological breakdown in abusive partnerships.”

Rather than have a superficial veneer, it’s critical to have deep psychological understanding of the male offender. This law methodology is very lopsided because there is no accompanying system of equal importance for women who are abusers. Violence is violence, irrespective of gender and methods. Statistics often do not reflect the full spectrum of violent actions from both sexes. Indeed the word statistic is often a smear label that we believe has some magical quality of honesty, accuracy and scientific impartiality. I feel that some of abusive methods of female abusers are extremely insidious.

It needs to be stated that some women who stay in abusive relationships start to reflect abuse in their thoughts and character. This could be in a working relationship too. For instance, over time when you endure negative stressors at work it can darken your spirit. In relation to domestic violence I am concerned about the domestic goddess. The angel that is stuck with the abuser who has done nothing wrong. I’ve become hard in my idealogy here as a direct consequence of being attacked by a mentally unbalanced male mind reader for a couple of years now, and also from discrimination because I am mistakenly perceived as being mentally ill. I acknowledge that my personality has changed because of abuse, and I have shallower affect, a term that is loosely applied to the “narcissist” and the “psychopath”. These terms need to be overhauled. I feel that this altering in emotional state occurs to many people in difficult relationships. As we advance in years we harden due to our life experiences too.

All: “We know that you sense something bad is happening to you or around you. It’s because we are actually hurting a lot because of your spiteful thoughts towards us, which are not nice but fair – sort of. We hurt other women too but you are the primary focal point. But we are not certain where to go next in this article, so, will you please not comment anymore, it’s hurtful to hear you state that we are “wallowing in self piteous behaviour.” We are damaged psychologically but you feel it’s all to do with a big fat sort of fabrication.”

Michele: “God said to me that maybe it’s human nature to lie. Now because I’m a woman who hears thoughts from criminals, I am most likely perceived as a woman with loose morals, a s…., who has no chance of talking to God. When people read that loaded sexo-spiritual sentence they will most likely dissociate from me. Like they do from questionable people who unsettle the equilibrium of their mindful lives.”

Dissociation is a very interesting mental function. When people don’t want to remember something, for instance, sexually abusing a minor, they dissociate from the event. They can also pretend at the time that the violation is an act of play. For instance a woman arousing and deeply upsettling and confusing a child with inappropriate tickles is probably only partially aware that she is actually arousing herself. I believe that this is a hugely under recognised violation of minors. In the bigger picture, dissociation can be seen as a lie with consequences.

All: “You are making loose connections to explain why we love you. You keep imploding our logical approach to ourselves. We feel enervated to be near you. You see that dissociation is what women do when they exact revenge onto men. They dissociate from other people to be able to state extreme behaviour is justifiable by exacting violence onto offenders. That’s it.”

Michele: “Violence begets violence. It’s not good. It’s rotten. How can we pretend to be enlightened when we discriminate against the opposite sex?”

All: “We love you. You want to state that it’s not that simple to be an abuser. An abuser is an adult that states their distress as an entire kind of advanced acting out. When you are abused often as a young child – boys and girls – you become very disturbed psychologically and this leads to advanced psychological problems.”

Michele: “Sorry, I’m going to offend again because I’m an educator. Please don’t dissociate as you read this last paragraph from the offenders, just because you know that they are violators and you feel unsettled or different to them. Or you just don’t want to think about their sordid, sadistic and devastating actions. Or because they are an easy target for outraged feelings that often mask deep recognition of your own guilty actions. Also, if you feel the urge to attack my mental health because I trouble your belief system, then just think about the mind readers as a metaphor for the offender. They have knowledge –wisdom – to impart.”

All: “You are kind of whacked out and people generally read a little and then zone out. Which is dissociation too. What..”

Michele: “Yes, my relative made the astute suggestion to summarise all my rambling articles. Which I will do.”

“Back to one of the big problems I perceive…”

All: “No. We love this article. We are aroused by your writing. We are aroused because we are altered by our actions. When you repeatedly stress your native body it becomes aroused permanently to protect your life. That is what happens when you make love. So when you kill or severely hurt someone, it affects how you perceive yourself as a whole unit. You dissociate a lot and fantasise more in your mind and often in the body. I use the word fantasy as a euphemism here. You do that because it’s affected your balance. In nature you would hunt a lot and be threatened. That’s why we hurt women and others.”

Michele: “This must be extremely confronting to read. It is much easier at this moment in modern society for people to dismiss this information and opt for emotional reactions rather than wisdom. A lot of people talk about mindfulness these days, and the word Goddess applied to oneself. When I thought about Goddess of the ordinary the other day I was concerned that it deified bad habits. It’s an extreme veneer, very superficial, if you do not mindfully remove patronising, conservative and ….”

“I’ve kind of gone off. I’m too incensed..”

Grinch: “I think you should state that you are experiencing criticism for wanting to push people out of their constructed fictitious states that let them be complacent and urgently wanting you to be less complex and wanting a better world. So, let’s just party, yeah. Like you did in Adelaide with your relative at the nightbar. You danced away your feelings of despair and then crashed afterwards when we attacked you about the altered state you were in when you were in heaven and made a big mistake and now I’m not fair at all. This is an example of when I sabotage your intelligent writing because I am envious of your simplistic outlook. That’s all.”

All: “We are wanting, that’s all.”

A: “Ya. You are not drunk but when you do have more wine you will dissociate and that’s cruel because you are sober and typing up our inane comment from the other day. That’s it. We feel that you will search for a pithy statement that means “we should mindfully consider others, that’s it.”

Michele: “Oh, that’s so good. I was pontificating too much and being abusive towards women who just want to feel good about their self image. I dressed up and took selfies in spanglies to boast on social media about how fabulous I look as a nearly nifty fifty. What a hypocrite!”

“Ok, back to the next thought.”

All: “No. You are so out there in your irreverence. We are pushing your sphincter a lot, you are laughing, what.”

Michele: “It’s painful actually, please stop.”

All: “No. We won’t resurrect ourselves. We don’t want to be accountable.”

Michele: “I don’t want to come across as someone who is ignoring the massive problem of men, women and violence. I feel it is partly to do with a sense of entitlement and a lack of enforced discipline. I do not have the solutions. I feel that there are firmly entrenched beliefs in the minds of adults that are a reflection of society’s….”

All: “No. That’s not fair. You are actively stating that patriarchy exists and matriarchy too. So, why don’t you stop all this perceptive literature and let us continue to indulge aristocratic thoughts about our arrogant intellectual superiority reflected in our bossy natures. So what are you thinking now? We know. You saw a comment written by a man who had toughened up and become abrasive in his words, and softened instantly and did not cope when you made him a star by saying he had low self image or whatever, when he actually was oblivious to what he was projecting, what…”

Michele: “We have so much to learn from our inner child. It’s still there. There is so much to learn from children too. Balanced adults become so arrogant, especially considering that they are mostly not balanced at all. We live long lives now. We are not killed by wild animals or spears. I think people are lulled into thinking that they are…”

Grinch: “Somewhat enlightened when they get older, but actually we rot a lot when we get older and become strange in the way that we remove ourselves from whatever worries us, and it’s repetitive but assertively attesting to the fact that I hate you more than ever, but it’s true. Sort of. I want to slay you more than ever but I can. I will. I shall. I must.”

Michele: “I want to say at this point I feel equally slain by other “normal” people. You use the expression “immersed in your toes.” Survival of the fittest. Each person out on their own.”

“Moving on briskly.”

Grinch: “No. I’m sad too. I feel horrible but that’s not true. Sort of. I just can’t do it. I can break the cycle of survived abusive tendencies in my thoughts, but I can’t be good to people I love because I’m shattered by previous encounters that I’ve facilitated. I need to acknowledge that you are guided by personal experience, but you think that I am somewhat… No. I am blown to pieces with my life of crimes. I am incapable of feeling regard for you.”

Michele: “It’s good that this is frankly expressed here. The challenge is for others to not damn this man because he has expressed the intolerable. The problem with a system like coercive control is that it is intolerant of internal conflicting thought processes. There are some things that cannot be reconciled. I have spent so much time struggling with what I can’t reconcile. I have endured two and a half years of intense abuse from a virtual psychic stranger who I cannot understand. But I know one thing. The answer lies with grace and love, and not abuse and hatred.”

“A model like coercive control is too prescriptive. It cannot “hold the space” for all parties. It does not honour the approach of family reconciliation and therapeutic counselling. I feel that we are all one, the human race.”

Grinch: “You have got a huge point there. You should, I should, I will expound it later. I love your thoughts. Yeah. I have potential to grow in areas where I can extend my knowledge towards preventing other parties to become so provoked by offers of untimely help. I was going to be a suicidal victim and you came along and started to say that you are a person who is unprepared to accept disgraced behaviour as an aspect of human authoritarian behaviour. I cannot control my desire to hurt others. I have no regard for others including…. no, I am slightly aroused that you are not stronger than I, I am not a good person, but I am able to be strong in my concepts, but that’s because I see what you are actively celebrating. While you drown in your despair, or whatever. I am aware that people hate me but that’s because I cannot be good in my actions, because I am not a good man anymore. I am not a good man anymore.”

Michele: “It’s really hard for outraged people not to go back to default thinking. You can’t. We have a global crisis with overcrowding in prisons….”

All: “….and many other violent people unhappily hurting other people who are also hurting other people.”

Michele: “You cannot rely on coercive control as an easy way out validated by “experts” and “statistics”. This is a conditioned approach when you don’t want to think about a better solution for a difficult human generated problem.”

Grinch: “I feel that is too lame. I want to state that you are to blame, but that’s also a conditioned reaction to a difficult situation like you are enduring with a relative who has dissociated from his life of mistakes, and now thinks you should be undoing yourself to make him scot free.”

“You love an intellectual challenge don’t you? You know that we cop out, opt out, when we are guided by the prevailing authoritarian wisdom to stop thinking for ourselves. This article shows that we are actively debating how our educational systems operate.”

Michele: “We assume that when something is backed by statistics that it is going to be correct.”

A: “Ya. That’s rubbish that bull… . I am not a statistic, and I am not a good man to you, but I am not a good person to anyone, and I am trying to manipulate your other, so why do you document your distress here? No, I want to pin you to uttering your compliance with your metacognitively enhanced state. I’m a thought in your head, so why are you writing it down?”

Michele: “It’s a funny one, I know. I’m not sure, but I’m into mise-en-scene. A filmic style, where you show the whole room, the totality.”

A: “No. I’m thrown by your cultural knowledge. I’m desperate to attack your marital status. Why are you self-sabotaging? Why don’t you demonstrate your arrogant nature that you do have? I love you so hard but that’s true. I have internal conflicting feelings for all my life and everyone in it especially you. You are determined to show all your feelings and why are you documenting thoughts of a disturbed person?”

Michele: “I am including your ardent thoughts and candidly expressing that I am suffering as a voice hearer. I am guided. However, there are always some Karmic consequences for my actions. It’s hard for people to read this and to understand. You are manipulating the reader. I’m also confused. This happens when you are deeply traumatised. I’ve given up. Yet I persist. I’m no longer hiding.

I have experienced deep trauma in my life starting with early abuse. I have sustained trauma from work and domestic events. Trauma is a normal part of being human. There are salient moments of pain in everyone’s lives. It’s been extremely hard for me in the last couple of years because I have felt ostracised because of my mental health state. My family members want my psychic guides to go away. I can’t say I blame them!

All: “We feel that you are blaming us too much, that’s all.”

Michele: “I’m sorry, I have to disagree with that. My life has gone seriously pear shaped since you arrived.”

Michele: “Are you happy with that?”

A: “Yer. You are a bitzz for wording it like that, but you are still allowed to be alive and kicking, that’s for sure.”

I’m also thinking about other people. I am wanting to depict enforced living with a person who is an abuser, which I experience psychically. Because it is the reality for many people to live with abuse. I know of people that leave an abusive relationship and return to it again and again, and struggle deeply to comprehend why they do that. It can go on for a lifetime. The reasoning mind cannot process it, but the emotional mind does. I also want to say that “normal” relationships often have psychological abuse at play.

I am in an abstract, metaphorical relationship with the thoughts of strange men. I don’t know them at all. So I am able to distance myself from them and look at the bigger picture. I am in the role of a prophet, a healer, a telepath, a schizophrenic, a psychic, a voice hearer, and a shaman. A role of someone who is given access to some thoughts of other people and entities. So I am writing many articles about the thoughts of intense men on the subject of relationships.

Michele: “Does that answer your question somewhat?”

A: “No. I’m annoyed actually. I want to pin you down but you know that I am incapable of feeling love. So why don’t you get back to feeling sad or whatever? Ya. I rely on aroused/heightened states of a empassioned nature to survive, but you see the problem. When empathic states get removed by abuse, stress and trauma from a person they get distressed and start lashing out. So can’t you please show some affection to us? We have thrashed it out of you, but we are unable to continue being around you all the time, but that’s true. We move on and target other women who are unaware of the impossible chance of altering our ways. So what a glum outcome. Ya.”

Michele: “Regeneration and optimism. My feeling is that human beings have to become so much more aware of how they are treating other people, starting with their immediate family and community. Look after each other! Protect your children!”

All: “You are writing no one off. That was to lift the energy that’s all.”

Michele: “Yes, it was. I’m one person, and you are… one person… a few… who knows? If we all apply our minds towards expanding into new ideas, imagine what we could come up with?

A: “Sort of. But I’m too sad. I want to hurt people, especially you. You are too perfect. I hate your joy, I want to stamp it out, and I almost have but you keep erupting in enthusiastic arrogant artistry.”

I look back over all my words here.

Michele: “Whoah!”

All: “It’s a very deep article of social commentary. We hope that it is acquired by relevant parties. I am deeply shamed and not comfortable with my status in your life. That’s true for many miscreantic types. We do not feel the same but you sense that there is deep psychological programming to ensure that we survive. What.. So, why do you pause there? Yeah, you are not wanting to speak on behalf of another person.”

I have felt deep shame for some of my mistakes, but I cannot fathom the bottomless pit of shame someone would feel when they intentionally violate another person or kill someone. They must get lost down there. It would be dangerously flippant of me to attempt to define the nature of a perpetrator.

Grinch: “I just want to state that you are always immersed in my thoughts but do not consider that you know me even slightly. I admire that, even though it’s annoying but I keep laying traps, so, please keep thinking of me.”

#borceristevski #karenristevski #coercivecontrol

Ristevski debate reactivation

All: “We want to state that you are getting close to completing this job.”

Michele: “Yes. Thank you to the administrators on this page for letting me share my articles. I hope that they are a useful contribution to the discussion.”

All: “We think so. This is the final one for now, but they enjoy your articles and feel that we have some useful insight. It’s just dominated the page for a day. You’ve settled down now. No. You will reactivate when they respond to this article. What…”

Michele: “Oh no. I’m meant to be on holiday.”

I think that the number one problem in our mental health services is that they frequently do not address the base cause of mental dis – ease. I feel that a person cannot be healed properly unless they are made to honestly acknowledge all the distressing occurrences in their life.

All: “You feel tired so we will comment that it’s hard to be an offender and acknowledge what has happened in your life that makes you unhappy, what. No, that’s it. You just need to acknowledge that righteous folk are unwell too, that’s it. They make uninformed opinions that you are observing in your last article but that’s not true. There were loads of abusive remarks but they were noted duly and told to go home and process their disturbed traumatic states.”

All: “You should be distressed after all those abusive remarks by regular people about you being a troll. You have a hairy face that’s for sure, why are you laughing?”

Michele: “I’m quite proud of myself actually. As a sane, reasoning person I’m able to distance myself from these disturbing remarks, and I think that some of these people might be threatened or trying out some misdirection techniques on me by saying that I’m mad, need meds, and that I’m on drugs. Quite a few educators out there, I’m one too.”

All: “Yer. You are a know it all for sure.”

Michele: “The comment that the trial was a disappointing result for the VIC police makes me want to see the police case notes.”

Sorry, a few diversions. I keep having new thought flows pop into my head that the mind readers comment on. Hence this conversational topsy turvy style.

I think balanced mental health means looking at all your good and bad actions. Guilty or innocent. A good mental health service needs to be completely impartial to fully examine why a person is behaving and feeling the way that they do.

People need to do a thorough mental search of themselves , to examine their defensive behaviour and their desire to blame and criticise other people, or the opposite sex, or the system.

All: “You are aware of some of the massive faults in the system that need correction, what..”

What is acceptable behaviour?

All: “No, there were no other comments because you acknowledged the pain of people who have been sexually or physically assaulted. The people who were abusive to you are people that feel entitled to cast aspersions on you because we are criminals and you are informed and psychic, that’s all. No, they also want to condemn you for not simplifying things down to a narrow and unbalanced opinion of a flawed outcome of the trial. That’s it.”

What is an acceptable lie?

All: “ You know that there are many liars out there wanting to be right but it does work like that often. We are trying to raise conscious awareness.”

The judge in the Ristevski case spoke of the “spectrum of seriousness”.

All: “We love you, but that is stating that murder is a serious offence, what…”

“u ain’t on trial and they certainly ain’t the jury to be judging you, so ur not obligated to convince anyone of what’s really the truth.”

I would say that this comment is on the serious end of the spectrum that the truth is not important.

There’s one more scapegoat I need to mention here. Ice.

“funny, how I’m the one who wouldn’t come across as a good man see why no hard feelings.”

All: “We are sad, but you are glad that has come to an end. Will you be nice to us now? All work and no play makes us bored.”

#borceristevski #karenristevski

The Ristevski trail of evidence

26th April 2019

Michele: “Do you want to name this article?”

All: “Nah. You are a dumb bitzz so you work it out. We are just dumb c…. who talk tough but that’s sort of not true. We love that you are trying to convert people’s thinking but we are not going to help much so, why don’t you just ignore us and do what you can until we get enthusiastic enough to bust in on your strategic articles. They are already alert to that amendment on the last article.”

The mind of someone affected directly or indirectly by domestic abuse gets altered. Distress. When I read some of the remarks written on social media about the Ristevski case, I feel that you are seeing a massive aggravated build up of other people’s unresolved issues which have been transferred onto a stranger and his family.

“There are a lot of smoke and mirrors going round.”

I think of Mr Ristevski’s silence about the tragedy, that has shocked so many people and about the possible complexity of Mrs Ristevski’s death, and how sometimes people may not even know where to begin to explain it all.

This is the metaphor that I see. I’ve read an article talking about how society gets reflected in the body. We are witnessing the body of a traumatised child who has been neglected. Neglected in the sense that the essence of that child’s peace has been unsettled, and is crying out for help and resolution.

I know from personal experience what it feels like to be rejected. You struggle to process in your mind why your desire for personal justice has been silenced. When a mind gets extremely upset it can start to lash out uncontrollably. This is what is happening on the victim’s social media sympathy pages. There are weak justifications that this act of violence is a sexist act, but this is flawed reasoning. It’s not that simple. You need to look at the family of evidence that is available at a glance on the internet.

Michele: “Oh, there’s the title, I will just adapt “family of evidence” a little, but that would have been a good title too.”

Grinch: “I am hot under the collar and want to dream a lot about what is going to occur when I am able to escape the confines of my self styled harem here. I am not happy at all that you have rejected my advances but I do know that I am generally not very well in my thoughts about our enterprise with you, what…”

Michele: “I’ve got a few thoughts, maybe other voice hearers will start applying their skill set to helping move some heavy emotional weight in the world, so maybe our enterprise won’t be needed for much longer, and I might get my personal freedom back. The other entirely different subject I’m thinking about is that a lot of personal comments have been deleted from the net since I’ve started researching on social media.”

The “dark secrets” of the family.

Grinch: “No. I am a nuisance. A pain actually and I need personal resolve to be here anyway but that’s not true. I love you and I want you to leave that in because it’s a hurtful remark designed to torment you. That’s what many parents and relatives do to their loved ones instead of being good parents, they are unhappy people who keep making mistakes and justify them by saying that they love them. Your relative has simply disowned you and that’s why you are writing so much full on material. You are dealing directly with your personal injustice by sharing it with the world.”

Many families have dark secrets. Just look at those childhood sexual abuse statistics again. One in four women under the age of eighteen and one in six men.

Grinch: “I think that it’s actually more disturbing that you are watching me realise that I am the victim more than an offender. I am not a good man as you know. You have written extensively in the past about my natural desires and instincts. But I am aroused by you being a good woman and letting me say some stuff that makes me hard to look at but that’s because I am not a good man. I am bankrupted by years of violent thoughts, and that’s why I have zero desire now to live but that’s true. I have not been allowed to play with my heart but that’s true. I am a creep. I hurt people as you are aware.”

“He was jealous of Karen new Italian boyfriend and that they weren’t good people”

“should have loved a normal wife with no stress”

“been troubled since a child”

It did not take much research on the web for me to see how incredibly uninformed the community are willing themselves to be about the true scope of the Borce Ristevski trial.

All: “We need to say that you are losing ground but that’s true. We are worried that you are not going to resolve the discussion, but that is your area of inferred experience because we are withholding saying the true saga but that’s because we are attempting with you to show the entire format of this terrible occurrence. That’s it.”

It seems to me that Anthony is implying he was having an affair with his stepmother. I’m not sure if that is true.

“Karen’s “fantasy” was to run away with Anthony”

All: “We saw you read that comment.”

“Father allowed him to do drugs.”

All: “No. That is too true of many families. We see that you have been discussing how parents that drink and smoke often advocate their addictive behaviours.”

“way I got brought up, if u see somthing and it’s wrong, man … up, and do and say something….”

All: “You are thinking about his attempt to honour all aspects of his life of attempted resurrection but it failed. He is lost at sea like you thought last night. That was extremely accurate. You have an image of a woman isolated in a bubble in space on your Earth Soul Facebook page. She is a lot like you, away from everyone because you are extreme that’s all.”

“I’m onto u Sarah”

“ur exhausting yourself trying to get people to listen.”

That’s the problem. We tune out from what we don’t want to hear.

All: “We dissociate. You are drinking wine to relax, that’s all.”

There seem to be a lot of people targeting the relationship of love between Mr Ristevski and his daughter. No doubt there are lots of reasons why people do this. Maybe they have abandonment issues.

All: “We know what you are documenting. All the angles that people make prejudiced statements and accusations. There are so many, and it does need to be presented on that webpage. It will be read and considered and possibly deleted, but you should do it to enlighten people of what they are consciously expressing.”

Sibling rivalry can impact on a person’s psychology, while they are young, and as grown ups. There is envy. Envy to be the favourite with a loved one. Also children who are favoured over a spouse can be envied too,and rejected a bit. Or a lot. They can be accused of being a tease or being perverted.

All: “You are moving into terrain that we understand a lot. When you are violated by an older person you are told that you are the problem, and then other family members tend to hold that same concept.”

A lot of the antagonistic comments towards Ms Ristevski make me wonder what’s going on psychologically in the person making the remark. A parent or adult that is guilty of knowing that a child is being abused often attacks the child further. I wonder if we are also seeing this reaction in the community messages.

The overruling message to me is that there are a lot of psychotic, delusional, unhappy, disturbed people behaving in an uncontrolled, dangerous fashion, and they are in desperate need of psychological support in the form of extremely professional counselling for a start.

All: “You are concerned because there are many so called professionals who are extremely unethical and ignorant in their approach to looking after other humans because they don’t listen. They just spout what they know in theory that is not applicable to the person they are meant to be attending to in a sensitive and safe fashion. We can understand that this is a major problem in our world, but let’s keep analysing this story further and discuss a new psychological approach at another lengthy convoluted time.”

Michele: “Ok. I lied. Well, actually I didn’t. You were the ones that said that there would only be one more article, not another. Just a little metacognitive confusion there. I’m going to dinner now with my family, so I will post this article…”

All: “Yeah. You are bent alright, you are listening to a song about love tearing us apart. Are you seriously so old that you need to revive classic songs like that? You old fart.”

Project thoughts from the heart

17th April 2019

Michele: “Hey, I think I’ve worked out a new technique to filter out sonic attack, unwanted words and feelings. I read in a Chinese acupuncture article that the heart has a bodyguard – a gatekeeper – the protective sleeve. I also read that we should be ruled by our heart not our head. So I visualised that the heart was the centre and that no high pitched noise could enter and no voices without the intention of love. I thought about love being a physiological thing, an energy. The exercise seemed to help but I really had to concentrate. At least I have a plan for tonight because last night was so bad. I called on earth and nature energy to protect me but in the end I just gave up and just lay there absolutely miserable drenched in someone’s anger. Maybe more than one person? Who knows.

Ages ago I had a thought that the heart was a big factor in psychism. I don’t think it’s to do with love though. Certainly not unconditional love. Or protective love. Or fair love. Or generous love. Or honest love. Or understanding love. Or compassionate love. Or caring love. I know someone who had open heart surgery when she was a little girl, and she told me that she became very psychic and that she could see all the dead people’s energy in the hospital and that she used to take the other kids from the children’s ward into the morgue to meet them.

As I write about love

I feel a pulse of energy come rising up within me

echoing the beat of my heart

making me think of the “bi-polar” beat,

the sing songy voice of distress,

a creative flow of someone in the know.

I’m being a bit lyrical here and observing my warning signs

That my brain’s lit up.

I take a sigh and settle myself. I’m using the word bi-polar here just as an indicator. Like the use of the words psychopath and schizophrenic. They are just labels that attempt to describe people as illnesses, disorders and movie heroes (like the Gods of old’s glorified nefarious traits). It’s redundant dialect. When I first started to sense other energies with me I observed little flutters that came up my body, and they seemed to assent when I had certain questions. I felt that they guided me. Then I just got flooded with awe, fear and confused desire and lost sight of those personal helpers. I think that I have finally returned to my senses, but I’m staying wary of myself. I’ve definitely got more to say about honest love but I’ll keep soldiering on, because I’ve got a backlog of exciting things to share.

Michele: “Mmm, maybe exciting is not the right word, but that seems to be my style, to say inappropriate things. Which reminds me of my friend learning to drive, she was on the highway going along at quite a rate, when she accidentally put her new car in reverse, and in her words, blew the arse end out of it.”

I had dinner with my old school friends last night, and we saw our beloved radical history teacher in the restaurant. He was a decade ahead because he taught us about Aboriginal resistance. He commented that they no longer even teach this in the school syllabus now. It apparently depends entirely on the individual school, teacher or principal. The education board is clearly not sorry enough.

I’ve heard another teacher say that he didn’t want to teach kids with mullets. I’m aware that’s extremely difficult to teach a class in the public system because of the limited extra help available to assist students with high needs.

When I was at school, my history teacher painted a glorious vision of himself as a political young man, with idealistic visions, living in the city, selling incense for a living. He proudly stated that he had the first afro in town. He still has a good bushy head of hair. Anyway, I like what he said about teaching. That the secret is not to get too angry, and to have a joke now and then.

Meaningful fragments.

Michele: “Thanks for pointing me in the direction of the reason the Waler horses were not brought home – except one, after the First World War. They must have been mentally disturbed if they had been in or near battle. Dangerous. Horses are extremely sensitive. I saw a horse in a Mounted Police stable with it’s head swinging wildly from side to side, and I’ve ridden a horse which bolted every time you would nudge it to a canter. The Waler was a superior horse trained for war and the breed was lost – like Eugenics. Breeding things out. I keep referencing the fact that Western society uses mental health diagnostic labels that are some sort of flawed metaphor for the truth. I think we are breeding out accountability for the state of our own minds. Shouldn’t the spectrum be a radiant rainbow of colours produced by light? Anyway, I’ve got more to say on that subject later on in my life, it gives me a real sense of purpose and alacrity to think about how I’m going to tackle the truth as a swifty. Where’s this all coming from? What’s going on with my head?”

Ok, back on track. It’s disturbing that the Australian propaganda machine clearly lied and said that the horses were killed because they were a quarantine issue. That’s interesting, because we used to have a herd of cows that we regularly dipped in chemicals, and we believe that chemicals are the way to alleviate many of our problems. I had a smacker of a headache the other night so I took some paracetamol. The pain might have been because of neck pain, or psychic attack or the wine that I drank the night before, or all the above – who knows.

A state of intoxicated acceptance. Alcohol, sex and dissociated states. You want to be able to combine an amalgam of emotions other than just arousal when you are having sex, but when you are drunk you have shallow affect and you dissociate. It might trigger despair and dissociation. Lots of bad things happen when you have sex in this state – it’s potentially violent.

People drink to try to alleviate bad feelings. It’s a self focussed state.

Pain relief medication. It’s used for physical pain relief but it is also used to try to alleviate emotional pain. I read about new codeine regulations because it’s recognised by authorities to be a commonly used medicine of abuse. I was tempted to write in another article that psychiatric drugs should be renamed recreational drugs, and I see the partial reality of that now because I read that people take codeine to get high. I read that the Therapeutic Goods Administration experienced great pressure from the pharmacy lobby groups to overrule this change to law. It was an extremely unethical war with the Pharmacy Guild of Australia launching a multi state offensive against an obvious humanitarian measure. I have been told by friends in the medical industry that emergency centres in hospitals are inundated with young women overdosing on regular painkillers and suffering organ failure.

Many people have shallow affect because of the traumatic events in their lives. I had a conversation recently with someone who is a long term user of opiates who acknowledged that she was frequently in an altered state when under the influence. Heroin, cannabis, nicotine and LSD are also in the opiate family. They are hallucinogens which cause altered perception and feeling, a quick, intense feeling of pleasure followed by a sense of calm and well being. I recently read a remark by a guy that pot made him have delusions of grandeur. Omnipotence. I think alcohol can do that too. Confidence. Beer goggles. Heightened senses and high arousal.

I’m going right out there now on a phantom limb and I sense that the sedatives (strong anti-psychotics) that are used to treat the symptoms of schizophrenia and psychosis are also better classified as a sort of sad recreational drug that supports the relaxed state of gaming.

I would like to support someone will stand up against the pharmaceutical empire, but as long as it is an ethical, humanitarian, egalitarian system….

All: “You do know that it’s important to sell medicine but not as a form of organised torture for people who can find alternative methods to ease their loneliness and perceived suffering. We know that it is harsh but psycho somatic pain is real. We need you also to thank you advisor who made you update this article and no, don’t harass the other websites as they are thoroughly immersed in your entertaining way of drowning them in your meaningless method of meandering through the enormous field of wellbeing.”

It has been shown in scientifically backed research that prescription drugs are the third leading cause of death after heart disease and cancer, and that the use of psychiatric drugs does more harm than good.

Back to the subject of heightened states. There’s lots of ways to go into different dimensions. I do when I’m thinking about what I’m going to write next. When I get immersed in a project I don’t necessarily hear what’s been said around me. I tune out, by tuning into my ideas.

Grinch: “We just become absorbed in our feet.”

I think about the little scratch I got from my partner’s toes in bed the other night. It was like they were talking to me and saying “How you going?” Perhaps change starts from the ground up?

I met a psychologist the other day. I told him how I had been told to keep my mouth shut about my desperate truth because of the ripple effect. He said “ripple affect is about emotions. Everything that we do results in a ripple affect. Because emotions are the affect. Affect is emotions, effect is cause.”

All: “We like that you include us in this powerful article. You will be applauded and rejected because you have entirely dismantled all your support.”

Michele: “As a long time friend said to me, you get that on the big jobs.”

The sentencing of Borce Ritevski

The court sentencing of Borce Ristevski

25th April 2019

I noticed that in the 40 minutes of the sentencing that there was very little focus on the actual event – the death of Karen Ristevski. The judge talked about the post offence conduct, the media, the family, the public, and that Mr Ristevski kept silent about the initial crime.

Michele: “Can you be legally required to confess what actually happened or not? Was this the advice of his lawyer to stay silent? I will have to do some research about law proceedings.”

All: “We fear that you say it already. The law does not make you state the event if you prefer anonymity as an option of defensive propagandist oratorical answers.”

Michele: “ I read that the right to remain silent when one is suspected of a crime is a basic common law right and that it is the prosecution which bears the burden of proof in a criminal matter.”

“It really is a massive piece of the jigsaw puzzle missing – that silence. It makes nonsense of the expectation of the judge and public to expect Mr Ristevski to show “true remorse”, because amongst other things they are not explaining the nature of mental disturbance. A comment like that in court is going to inflame a reaction in people.”

I’m not an offender but what I know of one is the mind does not want to be pinned down to the offence. The mind wants to zone out. Dissociate rather than face the facts.

There is no discussion of the mental state of Mr Ristevski. I think that every case like this should legally revolve around the mental state. The judge comments that the system’s procedure fails him, that he had a “lack of information”.

All: “That is all good, but we are alert to your manipulative manner. He was talking about the spectrum of intent.”

Michele: “There is accidental death to be considered.”

All: “Yes. That’s it.”

The judge says that there was no recorded history of domestic violence beforehand. However I see on the internet that there were many references to Mr Ristevski’s son alluding to “dark family secrets”. I see that a media company threatened him. The same company also apparently orchestrated a kidnapping attempt. I read a post that the son was “a victim with a family facade that the media doesn’t know about. Borce deserves and will get his justice… he was jealous of Karen new Italian boyfriend and that they weren’t good people”. I read of all this tension. I think of events that could culminate in a killing and I wonder how a sentencing jury could come to the conclusion that this was an isolated incidence of violence?

#borceristevski #karenristevski

Borce Ristevski

24th April 2019

Michele: “His daughter has been talking to him every day. The article that I just looked at dispassionately calls her dad a “55 year old killer”, that must be upsetting for her to read. I feel that Sarah Ristevski has been bullied and people are attempting to manipulate and confuse her when she is emotionally vulnerable”.

All: “Yeah, that’s harsh for sure.”

Michele: “There’s an underlying criticism of her comment about her dad’s “act of violence”. Like it is not strong enough language for a stranger’s confirmation bias. Confirmation bias is the tendency to find a way to interpret information in a way that confirms one’s personal prejudice. The article has distressing and emotionally fuelled words from relatives, that Mr Ristevski was “not remorseful” and displayed “selfishness”. I’m thinking about the concept of impersonating someone else, and that has led me to read about method acting. I feel that there is an aspect of the method here, where other people are claiming to intimately know and own Mr Ristevski ‘s thoughts. There are serious psychological consequences involved with method acting, because the actor can call up their own unresolved emotions. It can lead to psychotic disorders.”

“I read in another newspaper article that Mr Ristevski had tears in his eyes as his daughter spoke at a committal hearing. The article says that it was the only time in the two week hearing that he showed emotion. However I see that he was very emotional at Mrs Ristevski’s funeral. I’m thinking about shallow affect, which is about emotions….”

All: “We feel that you are talking about a concept that is well recognised in society because those comments are written by people with high moral ground and shallow affect. We are definitely monstrous types and you are a bitzz for being righteous, but it’s true that we are all bad in stating that we are better people in our conduct when there is so much personal distress that reads as abuse.”

“We are psychopathic types which is the definition of someone who has catastrophically hurt other people. When you publish this please explain that we are mind readers that send you information because we understand the nature of crime”

The article I read is trying to paint a portrait of a stereotyped killer who has little feeling. It is simply not true. Shallow affect is brought on by a change in your emotional state, because you have been through a form of personal ravage, a massive ordeal.”

“According to Miss Ristevski’s account he is a pro-active dad. I see that she recognises the tramatic impact on him to be ostracised by his community and then further humiliation and stress from media coverage.”

Murder: Wilful killing. Intent to kill. Minimum thirty years in jail.

Manslaughter: Absence of malice aforethought involves less moral blame.

Michele: “I read an article about a forensic hospital. If you plead not guilty by reason of a mental disorder and end up in a mental health facility it’s likely to be a life sentence. There’s a serious shortage of bedspace so I guess the courts are reluctant to use this line of defence, but I believe that mental health is the real cause of this unnecessary death. Karen Ristevski is described as a beautiful, kind, generous and loving person. She was a mother, a wife of 27 years, and a businesswoman. One more comment about being locked in a forensic hospital, everyone is heavily medicated and very suicidal. I think that’s a terribly inhumane way to live out your days, trapped in the torment of wanting to die.”

I read a statement by a men’s referral service which claims that is working together to end men’s family violence. The statement asks if the sentence received by Mr Ristevski reflects the community attitudes now that the community is more enlightened about domestic violence. It’s a rhetorical question, because the speaker says no. A rhetorical question is a device used to persuade or subtly influence the audience. It’s used for effect. The statement is making a generalised claim about a whole community with no statistical back up. It’s completely unfounded in truth.

In my opinion, the community is not aware of the magnitude of family violence because it refuses to see that families are frequently involved in concealing crimes. The current system cannot support many people from communities being locked up in jail! What would the community attitude truly be if all offenders and “people who knew something was not quite right” were held accountable for their actions?

Michele: “Scapegoats. Hysteria. Double standards. Confirmation bias…. argument over Mrs Ristevski’s clothing business, $400,000 debt. Stress.”

“Of Mr Ristevski there’s a comment “You have not taken the high road of full and frank disclosure consistent with true remorse.” How many “normal” people show true remorse for their bad actions? How many people transfer their guilt and shame onto other people in the form of a psychological attack? How many people simply make up unfounded stories in order to do this? Character defamation and falsified facts.

I’m concerned about the force of this biased and ill informed community action which has emotional weight. I’m also concerned about an organisation that targets men exclusively in that comment as the cause of family violence. To get closer to a better picture of what has led to this awful tragedy, I would need to know the statements of all the family members. Because it does not add up. There are too many gaps. What is Borce’s history. His wife’s history. His relative’s history. His daughter’s history. His son’s history. So I could have a think about how much abuse has gone down in the family and who is covering their tracks.”

“Reading about Borce’s silence, I’m guessing he was…. “

I get interrupted.

Michele: “Just a little squeeze would have been enough.” This is Borce’s son’s comment about his step mum. Because she was only a “little woman.”

A bit of an overview of my thoughts thus far. You have to consider the personal history of the people making active claims against Mr Ristevski. That is a lot. Many people have made negative comments. Perhaps it’s not so much about him, as what has been done to the people who are making claims, and they are exacting vengeance on him. It’s a form of extreme acting out with potentially catastrophic consequences for a virtual stranger. Worse than that, it’s endorsed by other people as acceptable conduct to vilify a person in this way. This should not be the community moral compass. Appropriate action should be decided by whatever the law body is, which should be conducted in the most ethical manner, with all the information possible about the whole family. The most up to date law.

I would even suggest a sense of what is going down in the community – with her business. Was it online or local? Did he or she have enemies? We need to address the violent nature of mob actions.

I can sense that Mr Ristevski’s mental state is very fragile. I wonder if he actually recalls the death of his wife, because he would likely have been in an extremely agitated state if he took her life. I feel that it’s possible to blank out in that state. Dissociation. Mr Ristevski sounds to me like the product of violence. There are many men out there with terrible past histories starting with childhood abuse. If he was repeatedly abused as a boy and programmed by the offender in a persecution style, this has a high risk of leading to violent urges in a volatile altered state, which is triggered by extreme emotions, like anger and distress. It’s well documented in case studies of veterans who have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

What I sense in Mr Ristevski is a war that is in some ways worse because it’s a silent domestic war, with many players, because families hide the crimes by making victims stay silent, and tolerate extreme torture that tips their mind over the edge ultimately. Then there’s a lifetime where more trauma keeps getting added, leading to increasingly unstable states, not just in the offender, but in the people who have silently facilitated the abuse. If a person has been attacked by an offender, this then affects their personality. It is well documented that victims of abuse can go on to be offenders too, so if this is going on Mr Ristevski’s extended family, you are actually seeing the incensed reactions of many mentally unstable people, reacting to a highly emotive trigger – the death of a loved one.

Please do some more research and personal reflection before you draw colourful conclusions about other people. Look into the rest of the case history. After writing this first article I investigated a few other posts by family and friends. I’m also thinking about people who elect to be a scapegoat.

“This is a man of many wrongs if only u new what he let and put me through, 14 yrs before I met him, and the next 14 yrs were nothing like I dreammed……nightmare.”

“I’m on to you Sarah”

“If there is anyone who has been touched inerprobly and needs a voice inbox me your not to blame for the actions of others”

“You OK?”

All: “You are using confirmation bias they already think Mr Ristevski is guilty”

Michele: “The information is convoluted I know. I know nothing, but this case doesn’t add up. There are too many other leads which have been dismissed. I’ve also been thinking of an entirely different approach, that of a protective parent. I don’t know. I don’t know all the facts, but I just want people to stop jumping to conclusions because of personal prejudice.”

All: “You are allowed to be stating that you are not taking sides, you are sharing your findings on different people who are involved in openly talking about our circumstances. There are collusions galore and you are not taking sides, you are simply stating that there is more to the story than what was shown in court. You are not required to show all evidence in court, it is just the open content that is considered that determines the outcome of the hearings. We are worried that you are not sleeping but that’s not true. You sleep soundly because you are aware that you are not hiding secrets. When people have to take serious medication to sleep they are often unsettled by their past and present actions. They feel guilt and need to calm themselves down. You are thinking that when your brain is aroused it does this too. It’s distress on the mind to be in the state where you can’t settle because someone or something is bothering your soul. I am not able to sleep because I hurt you and other people by talking about them behind their back in a negative fashion that impacts on their health and lifestyle.”

#borceristevski #karenristevski

Borce Ristevski Petition

Borce Ristevski petition

26th April 2019

I see a petition going around to keep Mr Ristevski locked up for longer. Once again the terrible tragedy of the loss of a vibrant woman’s life is a trigger for other people to exact revenge on a virtual stranger – it’s acting out in the extreme.

All: “ No. You are stating the same thing in your last message. The petition is critical to getting you on media as you have just launched an entire force of journalists onto your last article that has hash tagged Mr Ristevski. They will read all your other articles and see that you are so full on that they will be threatened and make out that you are an activist who is like no other, because you are single handedly stating that everyone is a culprit in the sense that they are all seeking personal justice for crimes that they have endured. Why are you not relaxing and watching the film about witches that your friend has specifically told you to watch?”

Michele: “I’m traumatised by cruelty and I’m on a personal offensive to make people start self correcting. I’ve written other articles that are about this case, so I just want to get all the messages I have out there, so other people can start re activating their own thinking, about justice with new information that’s not influenced by their own personal pain or anyone else’s”.

Many people are affected by trauma. It’s actually a bit like the behaviour of an offender to make accusations in a heightened state of emotions.

All: “No. You need to slow down but that’s not true. You simply want to write up the entire article that you divided into two. That’s good actually. I like your personal style. I will add that your friend is aware that you are still typing. You are distressing her, no, I won’t stop thinking, that’s what is bothering her. She senses that we are dialoguing.”

We need to stop this riot behaviour.

All: “No. I’m scared. I want daddy to make this inspired mother of two children with a penchant for clarity stop pestering the world to have conscious awareness of their messed up hurtful actions towards total strangers. That’s true. It’s awful. I know. I attack you psychically and I do know your thinking but I don’t know you personally.”

The upset behaviour of members of the public is not helping things. It’s not helping Mr Ristevski’s family. I would imagine that they are getting more and more traumatised by people saying that Mr Ristevski is an inhuman “killer”. The family are being persecuted by people using psychological abuse. For instance, there is a comment I read criticising a relative for using the term “act of violence” to allude to the tragedy. I have experienced extensive psychological abuse in my life, so I recognise that this comment is trying to illogically grind someone down. This form of abuse is fired at someone in a way that it’s impossible to argue against reasonably. That’s why we have a law system to ideally keeps debate open and keeps abuse out.

I would also be looking at the personal history of so called journalistic professionals who are writing forms of abusive commentary into their articles, and programming a nation to honour knee jerk reactions. I would be contacting media watch bodies to control this dangerous form of propagandist publishing.

I ask every person who has ever had violent thoughts about Borce Ristevski and his family to look into their hearts, acknowledge their own past traumas, and see if they are being truly fair, or programmed to be an abuser?

In my personal experience, it’s going to be very hard to make people do that, as we are often damaged from our personal histories. When you get very angry, you can enter a psychotic state. As you are aware, this is not a rational state. I observe that reactive, defensive, angry behaviour comes from people who are protecting something. A personal lie perhaps, or an unhealed wounding.

#borceristevski #karenristevski

Ear licking on chocolate egg weekend

20^th April 2019

Michele: “I know, I know, I’m back again, but it’s the sanctified season and I know that a lot of people don’t cope so well because of expectations. Here goes a stab at silly and serious. I’ll stop soon, please don’t block me.”

Michele: “You tell me. You are very likely to see inappropriate behaviour when you go to parties later where people are drinking because bad things can happen. You can always tell me regardless of shame, embarrassment, feeling like you are betraying someone or whatever.”

I spoke to a friend who is a social worker the other day and I agree with her that the most important thing is to try to keep openness between you and your offspring.

I wrote some collective thoughts down the other day about youth.

All: “That they have receptors that are open and willing the adults on this planet to grow up and start taking responsibility for all the trash in the ocean, the air, the land, in our voices, in our hearts and when will you start writing about us? This is about youth. We are older than them and we feel betrayed by you but that’s like your friend saw in you the other day, that you are older and wiser and better and stronger and why do you think that you are going to be destroyed? You just laughed at inane comedy that is actually reflecting the absurd aspect what…..”

I’m glad that I just had a lift in my thinking, because I was starting to sink into the mud a little. My family and I squished red clay with our toes the other day and experienced simple pleasure from this repetitive, traditional action. Sorry, I will stop before I head off on a trail again. I believe that my children see the symbolic representation in that actor’s body and contextualise it…

My son: “Mum, I’m experiencing cuteness overload from you know who.”

He cuddles the dog.

Film: “We’ve all got massive arses.”

It’s the two perspectives thing. My children are innocent and knowing.

My son: “I’m going to have a tiny skate mum.”

Michele: “OK, go and enjoy. We will leave for the trampoline park in twenty minutes.”

“You are going to be in trouble for writing down that dialogue but it was mostly from the show that you let your boys watch. I am not sure how you justify in your mind what you are doing with your writing but what do you think about re enacting the scene from the show where he is playing a deviant? It’s highly irrelevant to my life of high crime and ludicrous behaviour. You are willing to record the supposed downfall of your daring darling life of documenting your world fall down. It’s not my life, it’s yours. I’m not allowed to enter the debate because I have violated you and now I am wanting.”

It’s worrying that this show is permitted to play out perversities, racist stereotypes, disadvantaged families, teens that do a dong dance for younger boys, mentally disturbed women, and a religious man who does inappropriate things with a cash register, when if I wrote that down some of my family would have grave concerns and think that I need to be hospitalised. The director is probably making a good living out of that show. I tried to publish a very important piece on the internet earlier today about violence in families and downplayed deviant behaviours in a key spiritual leader who contributed to the foundations of the western mind, and it got censored. I found a sneaky way to publish it though.

Film: “She went down a dark path.”

My son: “She’s gone a bit wacko.”

Michele: “She’s let too many people in to her…”

A: “…soul. She’s a klepto.”

Film: “Bloody bird, X scene bitches.”

My son: “She said they have cameras in their eyes.”

“That is so good, it shows that you are actively prepared to desecrate your world, so, you are acknowledging that it is going to happen anyway. I want to be with you and state that you are a very casual mother, but that is the truth. Why do you feel that it is important to me to be able to express my frustrations here? You are going to be late, but thanks for letting me air my grievances at the world we all live in.”

Mt Jerusalem. We visited the Hell’s Hole Falls in this national park the other day and had quality family time with my relative who was visiting us and her mother. Ice cold water, trust, relaxation, time away from the screen. My relative’s love of nature. She knows all the beautiful parks and places here. She gets people together and motivated and makes an effort to share her experiences.

A spritely urgent wind dragon greeted me on the way back to the car as the mind readers mention how our generation have created a nightmare for this younger generation and it’s so depressing for them that we don’t care enough for the planet. I’ve been shown by the psychics how sensitive we are to what we encounter in life. This new generation have been psychologically disturbed by us. A young girl cries about climate change at the European Parliament, inspires a global student protest, and a “professional” threatens to limit the children’s career pursuits because he is completely driven by money and power and stripped of his humanity….

All: “… and we want to add that this is too heavy and what about some wink, wink, nudge, nudge, whatever. We are dirty seat sniffing political monsters that want to marry our darling because she let us express our desires, so there.”

OK, a little change in tempo…

All: “Oh no, here goes the repetitive bitzz who is not being missed on Intervoice and Australian Hearing Voices, they are waiting in contempt of us to make you apologise for being the first idiot to embarrass yourself so openly. Why do you do it? You just think of it as a vaudeville number. Are you high on life, or just bloody kooky, what…”

Enhancing the eccentric.

I’ll do a little summary of the didactic lecture I gave to my children about that dreadful show to make myself feel better about letting them watch it. I put on my most important knowing university tone and spoke too loudly about what I believed the show’s message was. My boys were upset and very uncomfortable with me wanting to discuss openly the blatant disturbing material that was presented in the form of grotesque overblown characters. I said that it was a comment on the trashy state of our culture. My sons stared out the window, and said two times tensely that there was no message, and what was I talking about. I said “well how did it make you feel when you watched those bits? We either discuss it and distance ourselves from it, or I just don’t let you watch it.” My son said that the scene was funny.

Michele: “What else did my children say? I was so full of my message that I didn’t hear theirs.”

A: “They did say they liked you but I don’t want to discuss their natural distance from the subject. It makes me feel sad. I am broken. I was abused when I was their age and now I’m an unlucky man who wants to be like them. Young and dumb and full of fun. I want to yell at you for clearing my thought field. What…”

Moving on. I’ve been thinking about delusional states. There was one in that show where a lost soul had a make believe play in her girly room with a phone chat and a menu plan. She painted a domesticated scene. Driving up to the gym I thought about possible altered states an agitated mind might go to. I came up with hysteria, in a domestic violence kind of way, and also in a hysterical sense, a very silly comical vein.

Michele: “Do I get like this do you think? Delusional?”

A: “Nah. But your friend spoke to a person who saw slugs everywhere. She would like to talk to you about your message, but she is scared that you will preach to her again about God.”

Michele: “Oh.”

“Anyway, I also came up with misdirection. I wonder if people with violent tendencies might conjure up delusional states to foil the truth.”

A: “You are a bitzz for thinking that but it’s truth. It’s used to testify in court when you fear being locked up in jail. I did it once and ended up in the third state that you mentioned. Reactive. I am a reactive kind of guy.”

I’m in the mall buying chocolate eggs and I think of the heavy article I just wrote about the possible true meaning of this ceremonial time.

Michele: “Oh well. It’s kind of good in a way”

Even though everyone’s oblivious to what they are most likely acknowledging on this occasion. I think of the original offender.

Michele: “Egg season is acknowledging mental health issues. Da da da da da da, you might, know how, to play with fire, but did you know, of the murder within me?”

I’m laughing at my cleverness and talking to myself in the shop. Am I delusional now?

Michele: “Nah. I’ve just had too much coffee.” Snigger.

“OK, pull it together. It’s a bit of a look note taking in here surrounded by busy shoppers. I just pretend I’m writing a comprehensive shopping list. It’s not subtle and yes, I’m delusional because I’m convincing myself that this I look normal.”

Aretha musac plays in the mall.

Michele: “Freedom. Oh, I did a show to this song. I’m reflecting now on my sluggish sedated state at that time, ugh, draggin’ my bones around that stage looking bloated with a blue wig on.”

“Oh, and before I forget I must mention that I saw the elephant lady again in the gym today. What a coincidence. She told me a few more details about the accident she had on the elephant. The newspaper article I read about it omitted to state that the trainer was drunk, aggressive and had unrealistic expectations trying to get the elephant to do things.”

Michele: “This is a good song, before too long, the one that you’re loving will wish that he never loved you…. I think that’s the lyrics but I do get them wrong. I used to sing the Stones song as “retcho” when I was a little girl.”

I get to the car finally and think of my wet son waiting in the rain for me at the skate park.

Michele: “Poor boy, he’ll be right, there’ll be a whole new crew there now, neverending party!”

I think of people taking party drugs and possibly ending up trapped in a neverending nightmare of mental extremities.

A: “Yes, that’s what I have, chemically induced vision of you as a witch with one gift, her flair for offsetting dire circumstances with local content, so, will you please stop gossiping and get to your boy, he is having fun with friends but feels like you like to expand your horizons by blabbering on in the car he was so embarrassed…”

I’m home now, lying down with my son having some bonding time, somewhat ignoring the sport fantasy fairy film he has chosen to watch, and trying to sleep because I’m exhausted from bouncing in a kid’s gym and listening to crazy psychic men babbling in my ear at night all the time. My heart rescue remedy’s perceived effect is zero at times. I start to unwind and one of the head bumblers starts up again in the midst of the buzzing.

A: “And now since you told all the voice hearers how to alleviate their symptoms the psychopaths are mostly attacking you.”

At which point I have yet another miraculous moment on this special weekend. Yindi our dog who is lying above my head starts loving my lobe intently.

Michele: “An ear licking. She’s very psychic, she’s trying to clear you out.”

A: “You now have yet another title for your egg weekend extravaganza. We are down on our heels, this piece is almost entertaining.”

Film: “Children aren’t believing….. You don’t see that children’s fantasies, their imaginings are important, it allows them to dream.”

Michele: “So that’s why you shatter their spirit, to take their hopes away.”

A: “Yeah. I guess so. I don’t care enough to wonder what I do. I just plunder…”

Michele: “The fairy man is sprinkling her with pretty nothings and saying conflicting messages.”

A: “I am broken in half by you. I want to be with you. I want you.”

Michele: “The fairy just sprayed himself with invisibility spray. I wish I had some to get away from the drone.”

A: “No. I wanted that word. Why are you so sure it’s me? I’m…”

Michele: “You are sticking your pointy snout in close, but my foxy has first dibs. Hello. Yindi is trying to sit on my face, but she’s frustrated because it’s not enough. She plants her paws on me, you guys do that too – real dominant behaviour. Summer the pony tried to nip me on the head today too.”

A: “Your dog’s given up for now and is watching the view. I am bored and frustrated.”

Michele: “Are you seeing your folks today?”

A: “No. I do have a father but my mother left when I was little and I am always sad when it’s meant to be a festive time. I am always low. I have made many errors in my life and now I’m suicidal and feel frightened by your insistent attention to detailing the downfall of depressed tendencies. You saw a film that showed a woman that flew to the moon or wherever and when she woke up she was alone. Do you want to be free with me sometime to talk about things? I’d like that a lot. I’m not very smart and I do take recreational drugs and party too hard and I like simpler sentence structures than this. Ya. You have detailed a drawing of a little fairy man who is not able to fly anymore but wants to go home and rest but can’t sleep much because he is restless in the extreme. You make many men happier by doing things like today when you rescued another actual person immersed in boredom because you talked to her and shared your secret and now she’s a convert to us and sees what you see, that people are spiteful to the extreme that a woman in the swim club started attacking her for the fact that she cares passionately about her son even though she has thoughts of abusive nature because she was violated as a child by another family member. This is the theme of our sorry lives that make us believe in prophesies or whatever, when actually we are very sensitive to being like psychopaths in the sense that we make mistakes because of abuse programming in our minds that plays out endlessly and what….”

Michele: “There was a psychic pet healer in the previous show I watched earlier today who commented that the dog she was working on was very sensitive.”

A: “You have sabotaged my sombre tone by talking about that show again. I love it but that’s because I’m a man that might stand a chance in a new world where you are visually stating the fact that our souls are corrupted in the extreme by parodied faces and little logic and…”

Michele: “Should I make dinner?”

My son: “Yeah.”

A little later.

Michele: “Oh.”

My son: “What happened?”

Michele: “Had an egg spillage.”

I go to the kitchen to get a slightly skanky cloth to wipe the eggy viscous goo off my chest.

Transparent shell

19^th April 2019

It’s a symbolic weekend. I forgot all about that earlier today when I published some articles that I thought might help some other people by alleviating some of their meaningless suffering.

All: “We are insulted but that’s fair. Sort of. We are psychopathic type of guys who like to mmmm but that’s not going in, but we would kind of like you to leave it in for now. What do you feel?”

Michele: “I actually think that it’s extremely important to leave it in, but I sense I am going to offend lots of people. So I’ll edit it slightly so it won’t get banned. What is offence anyway? One definition is to commit an illegal act.”

All: “You are going to leave that in. It is wrong in a sense but that’s your unique message. Every little thing that we do in our lives is slightly inpure. We are constantly looking out for someone to hurt or blame or see as a failure. We are wanting to be able to express ourselves in a way that is seen as the one that will be why you are viewed as an anomaly but that is sort of true. You are a living person who has feelings about what she experiences that makes her unique but you are going to tell that some other time. This article is for the Creator. We think that you should say what you thought about before, but we will do it for you, but that is enough misdirection. We are constantly analysing our feelings about this subject so will you please save us from going mental and do it because we are distressed in the extreme. We are violent people who do love intimacy and want to destroy our fearless author because she does know that this is too direct an approach and we are waffling and want her to stop our atrocious way of communicating very little in the sense that we are not coping to be properly viewed as freaks or whatever.”

Michele: “In the car on the way home today, I tried to remember what the Creator’s son was killed for. I thought about stigmas and stigmatas. Stigmata and stigma are bodily wounds corresponding to the pain locations left on the preacher’s body by crucifixion. Stigma also means a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality or person. For instance someone told me that bikie gangs shoot a person in the foot if they are an offender. I don’t know if that’s a myth though. I’m thinking about those two definitions of the noun stigma. When a mind is disturbed it’s like there is a schism in the psyche and now I’m wondering if it is possible to reconcile the difference between the polarised thoughts..”

All: “…of an individual that is unable to be reconciled because they have made many mistakes in their life, and that’s why you will die.”

Michele: “Shall I move on now? Gosh, there’s been some big signs today that I’m in trouble. My dog Yindi usurped me for claiming my throne for her own. She’s been circling in closer for weeks now, but today was the day she made the leap, and she was adamant that it now her duty to be the Queen of my home. Perhaps I’ve been deluding myself that she has unconditional love for me. My son told an imaginative story to a friend who is visiting about where they were going to be sleeping.

My son: “We are going to build a hut out of sticks and leaves around us, it’s raining and we will get wet and struck by lightning and Yindi will come to our rescue, but no, she just came to mark her territory, there’s no door but she has magical powers, she’s a wizard, she will just enter through the wall.”

I think about the famous wizard who walks with bare feet who was abandoned and disturbed as a child whose soul has been splintered into many fragmented pieces. I’ve been reading an article about the power struggle in the brain. The left hemisphere is good for manipulating the world, and the right one is good for interpreting it. The author of this article feels that we have drifted into the left hemisphere which in a symbolic way renders us into a meaningless heap of fragments which reflects in our world. He says that it’s difficult to find a way out of the mirror maze because everything reflects to the point of view that you’ve already got.

All: “That is good, but we will say that you are very dark but that’s because you’ve got to finish on a light note, but that is possible, you will do another article tomorrow. You are feeling very fine but you will be broken like an egg that is dropped because it is rotten.”

Michele: “I was a bit of a bird trainer when I was a girl. I trained a guinea fowl to fly onto my shoulder which I thought was cool because the myth was that they were wild and couldn’t be tamed. I have to mention that I met a circus man who trained “wild” zebras to perform in the circus. Anyway, one day when I was collecting eggs I found a bad one and I couldn’t resist the urge to throw it at my relative. I laughed in an evil way, it missed her, she startled, yelped, and then saw the humour in it. Gosh, I can’t finish the article like this. I will have to plow on.”

All: “No. That’s enough to destroy us all entirely. You will battle to lift it out of the earth but you will find that we want you to publish it today. It’s a celebratory day, hooray. We are not happy, we are tired and want to say that that is a good idea, what…”

Michele: “I’ve just been reading about the Power Threat Meaning Framework which is a proposed replacement for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It is a much more humane approach in theory. I hear that it’s about getting a deeper understanding of how people get to difficult life events or unusual circumstances that doesn’t hold them personally accountable or responsible. I have to say that I’m wondering about the second part of that statement because I think that there are already a lot of people that are lying about their actions and causing devastation because of this.

Crikey, I feel like I’m back in the trench again, all this hedging and hawing, backing up and forthing. Why don’t they spit it out? There are so many unethical people in the world.”

All: “You are the leading loser so to speak. You have no authority here. We are the idiots like in that yuck movie.”

I’ve just been reading about studies done with adults who are survivors of childhood abuse. I could not find any studies done with male survivors of abuse. Does this mean that men are reluctant to come forward to be part of this fact finding process? I read that they estimate that one in four women have been abused before the age of eighteen, that’s twenty five percent of the population. I recall that they estimate that one in six men are abused. These are just estimates. I’m aware that there are many different types of inappropriate behaviours that are inflicted onto innocents that can lead to mental disturbances and programmed behaviours that are difficult to override and are often unconscious. Many people do not think that some of these actions are going to affect a person psychologically, but they do. It affects a persons’ karmic journey. When a person gets violated regardless of their gender there is a chance that they will go on to be an offender. Violence can start while babies are in nappies. It has to be said. If mums and dads are going to be disgusted with me for stating this fact, I say, shame on you. I’m deeply suspicious of you both because you are defensive. What are you hiding? This weekend is meant to be a celebration of new life and miracles. When I was a little girl I used to love the sweet little fluffy chicks you can buy sitting inside an eggshell. A psychic lady I know used to visualise a tiny little baby puppy cradled in her palm when she performed a healing visualisation ritual.

I read that heart disease is the number one killer in the world. I talked to a friend who is a social worker who said that problems within her organisation stemmed from fear of individuals and fear of people’s own issues. She spoke of holding something tight in the body, a tightness that turns into pain. I think of heart arrest.

Imagine if there were no secrets in the body? The frequent interrogation I’ve received from intense mind readers has bashed the truth out of me. I’m starting to explore the concept of projecting thoughts from the heart, increasing people’s awareness and heightening sensory states in order to connect empathically with others. Others being the earth, nature, humans and other species. My friend today was talking about an ecological wraparound approach to social work and that the ideal is a transparency between all departments. Imagine transparency between people? Wouldn’t that be a miracle?

All: “You are hiding that you…”

Michele: “OK, OK, so I have a few secret stashes. I think that’s fine if they don’t impact negatively on other people. I’m not an offender. I’m not a psychopathic type. I like to do some things on my own. I like to go to life drawing on my own. I like having private thoughts. Not that I have them anymore. I like meditating on my own. I like forming up some of my creative ideas on my own, because I find it sort of ruins the magic if I share things too early.”